Change Is Good?
by savagemind
Summary: It was late afternoon on the day the neighbourhood had been saved. Everything was back to normal, well, almost everything... *COMPLETE*
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold!  
  
  
  
It was late afternoon on the day the Neighbourhood had been saved. A momentous occasion! What better was to celebrate that with a good game of baseball in the empty lot of GeraldField.  
  
Arnold and Gerald had received praise and thanks for what they had done, everyone fully aware that there would have been bulldozers and workmen where they stood if it hadn't been for these two brave boys. So they had accepted the gratitude humbly, too tired to protest. Right now they were just happy to get back to normal.  
  
Stinky walked up to bat, as Gerald stood ready to bowl. Arnold, however, had decided to sit this one out. He'd said he was too tired from all the excitement and just wanted to watch. Well, the gang weren't going to argue with a hero!  
  
Taking a seat at the edge of the field he lent against the cool stonewall behind him and watched the game take shape. But there was someone missing. Someone who deserved just as much thanks as Arnold and Gerald, but she wasn't around. Come to think of it, Arnold hadn't seen her all day. Well, not since this morning anyway, when she had told him that she did indeed hate him and had then taken off down the street. That had been a very strange conversation, Arnold thought. Very strange!  
  
He couldn't help but think of Helga, after what had happened. The neighbourhood wouldn't be standing if she hadn't have helped out. 'Deep Voice' Arnold chuckled to himself. It had been a good disguise, but everything that had happened between them just didn't make sense! If she really hated him, then why go to all that trouble to help? And what had all of that been about on the roof of the FTI building? Arnold's face reddened slightly at the thought. Helga, the meanest, most uncaring bully in the school (who went out of her way everyday to remind Arnold of that), had told him not once, but over and over that she loved him! Not 'liked' him, not even 'really liked' him, but LOVED him! And then she had kissed him! Not a peck on the cheek, not even a little mouth on mouth 4th grader 'like you like you' kiss. It had been the real thing, and had lasted a good few seconds! Arnold blushed harder, hoping that no one would notice how his face was now an unsettling shade of magenta. This whole thing with Helga was only just sinking in, even though he had been trying desperately to push it to the back of his mind.  
  
But she had only been 'caught up in the heat of the moment'; it hadn't been real. Of course it hadn't been real! I mean c'mon, Helga G. Pataki, he thought, have feelings like that, for me of all people! She hates me!  
  
"Hey man, you ok?" Gerald asked as he approached his slightly ill looking best friend.  
  
"Oh, uh, yeah..." Arnold managed to mutter as he awakened from his thoughts. "Just tired. I think I'll go home, and, y'know, get some rest."  
  
"Sure thing buddy" Gerald smiled, patting Arnold on the back.  
  
"See ya later..." Arnold said as he rose from his seat and left GeraldField. His mind was still wondering. And where was Helga anyway? He wasn't sure whether he'd thanked her for helping him and Gerald out, but he still felt too embarrassed to talk to her. This was all just so weird!  
  
Arnold decided to walk the long way back to the boarding house, passing the city lake. He thought the clearer air might help, and it would be nice to have some quite time to himself.  
  
Then he saw her, just sitting silently on the edge of the dock, staring into her lap. She hates me! Just keep saying it; she hates me. I'm a stupid Football Head and she hates me. Arnold just kept repeating this to himself, he wasn't really sure why he felt he needed to, but he didn't want his thoughts wondering like they had when he was watching the baseball game. She hates me!  
  
Helga had been having her own problems. She'd sat on the weathered dock for some time now, just watching the water and thinking. Sure she had been so happy when she could take all those 'crazy' things she had said back, but now that she really thought about it, she felt bad. Yes, she had gotten carried away and 'caught up in the heat of the moment' as Arnold had put it, but she had said it. She had revealed her deepest, darkest secret and confessed her love for him, the boy she has worshiped and tormented for the past 6 years of her young life. And what had been his reaction? He didn't believe it! That dense Football Head hadn't believed it! I mean, criminy!  
  
She sighed, feeling the warm breeze on her face. He didn't believe it. Then, she thought, he really doesn't like me. All this time I've been too scared to tell him for fear of rejection, and when I finally do tell him, what happens? He doesn't believe it! And now I'm back where I started. She looked down at her heart-shaped locket that rested in her hands, its golden frame glittering in the sunlight. He really doesn't love me...  
  
She watched a silent tear fall softly onto the glass that housed the smiling Arnold picture in her hands. No one loved her. She was completely alone.  
  
"Stupid Football Head..." she muttered to the locket, sounding more distressed than angry. After all, it wasn't Arnold's fault that he had rejected her; it was her own fault for bullying the poor guy since preschool! And she hated herself for that, for being too afraid to show him that she really wasn't the nasty unfeeling creature that she made herself out to be. Too proud and too concerned with her reputation to show any kind of compassion for him. And too scared to admit that all she had said on the roof of the FTI building had been true. Now, as a consequence, she would have to live with her broken heart, and the knowledge that Arnold will never like her like her.  
  
Another tear dripped onto the glass, and she watched as it slowly glide down the surface, deforming Arnold's picture as it slid across. He didn't believe me.  
  
Meanwhile, Arnold was battling with his mind. Should I go over and talk to her? But what would I say? I can't avoid her forever. But it's still too soon... Too soon? What am I thinking?! I mean, she hates me! She's Helga G. Pataki, the bully, who picks on me and calls me a stupid Football Head. Nothing more! But why did she say all that stuff on the roof if she hates me? Why go to all that trouble to help save the neighbourhood if she hates me?... Just stop thinking about it Arnold! Oh great, now I'm getting a headache!  
  
Finally he decided that he didn't want to talk to her and that he felt too tired to walk the long way home after all, so he turned around and headed back to walk the shorter route. Not like he was avoiding her or anything! He just wasn't in the mood for, er, insults, that's all... Of course that's all! I'm a stupid Football Head and she hates me. I'm a stupid Football Head and she hates me. I'm a stupid Football Head... 


	2. Part 2

A/N: Thank you for the reviews. I really appreciate them :)  
  
  
  
  
  
By the time Arnold reached the Boarding House it was about 7pm. His eyes were sore from lack of sleep, and he suffered from a headache. Sleeping was the only thing he wanted to do right then. He smiled at the thought of his soft bed and warm blankets.  
  
Opening the large green door, he weaved passed the animals that escape the house (something that happened so regularly, he'd gotten used to it and didn't even notice anymore). Grandpa was soon at his side to welcome the hero home.  
  
"Hey there Short Man!" he beamed, but then his expression changed. "Oh you look terrible Arnold! What happened? Get hit by a truck? Ooh I'm just kiddin', but you do look awful." Arnold wasn't too impressed.  
  
"Thanks Grandpa" he said sarcastically. "I'm really tired, I'm going bed ok? Good night Grandpa" And with that, Arnold slowly made his way up the stairs, leaving a slightly concerned Phil watching him ascend. As soon as Arnold was out of sight, Phil chuckled lightly to himself.  
  
"Too much excitement for the poor kid. Little guy's all tuckered out." He smiled and turned around, headed for the kitchen, soon to be splattered with fruit innards. "Oh Pookie! Not watermelon again!"  
  
Arnold changed into his pyjamas and climbed into his welcoming bed, snuggling down in to the cosy blankets. He thought sleep would take hold as soon as he lay down, but for some reason, it didn't. Arnold couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this tired, but for some strange reason, he couldn't sleep. Half and hour of tossing and turning later, he gave up and lay still on his back, watching the deep grey clouds sailing calmly across the evening sky through his skylight.  
  
Then the thoughts came again. No! He was NOT going to think about it! He tried desperately to think of something else, anything else! He searched his mind for anything to divert his attention from... her. Erm, schoolwork? What had he been doing in Friday's lessons... lets see, math? Hmm, long division. Mr Simmons had written a sum on the board, then he picked Helga to answer it and... Ok fine! I'll try something else! What was next? It was Math then... English! That's right. We were studying 18th Century Prose... we'd just started reading a book called... called... oh I can't remember! Helga had been throwing spitballs at me so much I couldn't concentrate! Argh! Alright so what else is there besides schoolwork? Think Arnold, think! Erm... baseball? Yeah, er, hey! I haven't knocked anyone out recently! That's an achievement right?! Maybe I'm finally cured of my Dangerous Lumber?! But I did bean Helga about a month ago so maybe... AHH! This is getting ridiculous!  
  
Arnold grabbed the pillow from behind his head and slammed it over his face in frustration. "Why can't I stop thinking about her?!" he spoke aloud. His head pounded painfully. This was too much!  
  
It was now 8pm, and as Arnold wrestled with his mind, Helga still sat sombrely on the end of the dock, not moving once since Arnold had seen her there over an hour ago. The sun had set, but its light still stained the sky to the west. A cool evening breeze played with the blonde girl's hair as she watched night devour the city. Arnold would have liked this view, she thought. I like this view. And again she thought of him, had he even left her mind once in the 6 years they had know one another? No. He was always in her thoughts; sometimes even she was unaware of it. He had found a comfortable place at the front of her brain, and he was a part of who she was now. He was everything to her. She'd realised a while ago, that he was the best thing about her. She was nothing, in her mind, without him. Unconsciously she had made him the very basis of her existence, and without him, her world crumbled. She sighed deeply and put her locket away as she heard someone walking up to her, feet tapping along on the wooden boards of the dock.  
  
"Hey Pheebs" she said without looking up.  
  
"Hello Helga. Why are you sitting out here? Aren't you cold?" The petite Japanese girl's face showed concern for her best friend as she sat down next to her.  
  
"Is it cold? I hadn't noticed." Sadness rang clear in her unusually weak voice. Phoebe picked up on that.  
  
"What's wrong Helga?"  
  
"Nothing's 'wrong' Phoebe." Helga growled back, folding her arms. She wasn't in the mood for another emotional outburst, so up came the walls again. "I'm just peachy!"  
  
Phoebe looked down at her lap ashamedly. No one ever said being best friends with Helga G. Pataki was going to be easy. She then had a thought. Swallowing in preparation, she spoke the next words very cautiously.  
  
"Is it Arnold?" Phoebe immediately braced for impact. She knew she was provoking a wild animal with those words.  
  
"What?! Why would it be Arnold?! Are you crazy?! Why the heck would I care about that stupid Football Head?! You couldn't be further off the mark if you tried! Are you nuts?! I hate the little..." Phoebe and Helga looked at each other. "...Yeah." she sighed quietly. Phoebe knew, so what was the use in hiding it?  
  
Phoebe could see the pain on Helga's face. She extended a comforting arm, resting a hand on Helga's shoulder. "Would you like to talk about it?" She asked sincerely.  
  
"Not really, but you're gonna make me anyway." Helga smiled softly, Phoebe smiling back in response. Helga sighed deeply before beginning. She was going to tell another secret, two in the space of a day. This is not good, she thought, but she was too mentally tired to try and back out now.  
  
"I told him." her voice was frail, defeated. She looked back down at her lap, and then at the mesmerizing grey water that swirled beneath them. "I told him everything Pheebs; the shrines, the poems, the fact that I've loved him since preschool! I blurted it all out like a crazed lunatic! I even kissed the poor guy!" Phoebe showed amazement in her expression. She was shocked, but she listened without interrupting. "Why?! Why?!" Hega's voice had taken on a dramatic and emotional tone, her hands exaggerating her words. "Why did I have to tell him?! Why couldn't I have just kept my big mouth shut?! I'm such a fool!" Tears threatened as her voice broke with the words. She wanted to scream in anger and frustration at herself, but she managed to hold it in. There was silence for a few moments while Helga composed herself, and this gave Phoebe a chance to take all of this in, processing it in her mind and formulating a response.  
  
"How did he take it?" she asked softly, still cautious.  
  
Helga resumed her slumped over position, the drama of her voice gone as fast as it had come. "He didn't believe me. I pour out my heart and bare my soul, but that dense Football Head doesn't believe me! He said I was just 'caught up in the heat of the moment' (which I was, but that's not the point!) and that I really hate him. Well I snapped didn't I! I went for the escape route he provided and took everything I'd told him back, calling him a stupid Football Head and running off! I'm such a coward!" Helga frowned, the anger building up inside her, but it was aimed completely at her self. Everything was her fault, she had concluded, and she deserved this rejection. But she was grateful to have Phoebe there to talk to; at least she could be trusted.  
  
"You're not a coward Helga." Phoebe reassured in her small voice. Helga looked at her with a raised eyebrow, but soon replaced it with a little smile that said 'thank you'. Phoebe understood.  
  
They both looked out across the water, Elk Island was barely visible now. The sky was dark and cloudy. They couldn't see any stars. The night air was cool as it whipped around the two girls, and the gentle sloshing of the lake was almost relaxing.  
  
"It's getting late, perhaps we should go home?" Phoebe suggested, standing up.  
  
Helga sighed. "Yeah..."  
  
They walked in silence, reflecting on their earlier conversation. Phoebe knew Helga wasn't in the mood for talking, and she respected that.  
  
They reached Phoebe's house first.  
  
"Helga?" she began before opening the door. Helga looked up at her. "You should talk to him."  
  
"Oh? And what would I say?" she spoke distantly. "I can't Phoebe. He'd only hate me more than he already does, and I don't think I could deal with that. I've made my move, and if he wants to play, it's his turn."  
  
Phoebe nodded. "Okay Helga. Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight Pheebs, and... thanks." Phoebe smiled and then opened her front door.  
  
"Good luck Helga." she whispered as she closed the door behind her. 


	3. Part 3

A/N: Thanks for reviewing! You guys are so nice :D  
  
  
  
Arnold looked at his clock on the shelf next to his bed, 21:11. He groaned, rubbing tired eyes that stung from sleep deprivation. He hadn't slept for two days, and everything he had been through the previous night had been enough action to last a lifetime in his opinion. But the problem still remained; he couldn't sleep.  
  
"Oh that's it!" he said angrily to himself, slamming fists down on his bed on either side of him. "I need some air." he concluded.  
  
Sitting up, he pulled back the covers and got out of bed, putting on his slippers. Walking over to the corner of his darkened room, he carefully climbed the inbuilt steps and opened the window of his skylight. Cool night air greeted him as he pushed open the glass pane and stepped out into the darkness.  
  
There was enough light from the streetlamps below to see where he was. For a moment, he toyed with the idea of climbing down the fire escape and walking the streets, but then, he is in his pyjamas, and he is 9 years old! He may be a 'bold kid' as Gerald had pointed out so many times, and he was certainly inclined to believe it after saving the entire neighbourhood! But still, wandering the streets alone after 9pm probably wasn't the smartest thing to do. Anyway, he had all the night he needed on his own rooftop. Why ask for more?  
  
He lent silently on the waste-high cold brick wall that framed the roof, ignoring a slight chill that passed through him, enjoying the fresh evening air on his face.  
  
Looking out on the street below, he shook his head with amused despair at the results of the boarder's best efforts to stop the bulldozers. They had cased more damage than Scheck had! "Oh well," he sighed. "I guess you can't go through all of that and expect everything to end up exactly as it had been before..." he thought. Then he stopped to re-think what he had just said to himself. One word suddenly popped up in his mind. Helga...  
  
Helga G. Pataki. Helga the 9-year-old bully. Helga, 'Madam Fortress Mummy' as Harold would say. Helga, the mean and uncaring tormenter; his personal tormenter it would seem. Helga the enigma? Helga as 'Deep Voice'. Helga, the girl who hated him. Helga... the girl who loved him. Oh no! Not again! He frowned in frustration. What's wrong with me?!  
  
'You're afraid' came a little voice at the back of his mind. Afraid? Afraid of what?  
  
'The truth' it said simply. 'You knew it all along, but you're only 9, so it's not something that should matter yet. But it matters to her, doesn't it?' Arnold shut his eyes tightly, desperately wanting to stop this. But he couldn't. 'Innocence can't last forever'.  
  
He felt as though he was hearing one half of a conversation in a language he didn't really understand. But it wasn't a language. Not really.  
  
'You felt it; you know you did. Wrong and right at the same time.' What? Now he was just getting confused. 'And you read from a script as the sun rose. She read from the same script. But one day, there won't be a script to stop you, and you won't want a script to stop you.'  
  
I don't understand! 'You're not meant to yet, but you will... soon. Be patient and you will. She's made the first move for you, and in time, you'll take you're turn.'  
  
Arnold lifted a hand to his forehead. He really didn't understand what he was feeling. Was it fear? Hmm. But the wind was playing with him, and he felt very tired now.  
  
He climbed back into his room, locking the glass panel down behind him. Kicking off his slippers, he curled up under the blankets as before, but now, something felt resolved in his mind. He wasn't really sure what it was, but he knew he didn't need to know. Not yet anyway.  
  
And now he was soaring through the sky, weaving over and under fluffy white clouds in a background of beautiful blue. For a moment, just a moment, he could have sworn he saw something pink on the horizon. But he didn't mind, it was supposed to be there. It had always been there, and he had always been flying towards it. It was closer than it had been, but still, he wouldn't reach it yet. Not yet. 


	4. Part 4

"Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold!" Arnold groaned as he turned off his alarm clock. 7am, Monday morning.  
  
"Ugh!"  
  
But he didn't feel too bad. Actually, he felt quite well rested. He had made a decision in his mind about a certain something, and now he could enjoy getting back into his normal routine. And this was the first morning in about a month where he didn't have to worry about the neighbourhood being torn down! That was a nice feeling in itself.  
  
Climbing out of bed, he headed for the bathroom while most of the other boarders were asleep. He took a refreshing shower, dried off and quickly got changed into his regular clothes.  
  
"Morning Grandpa!" he greeted as he entered the kitchen for breakfast.  
  
"Mornin' Short Man! Looks like you had a good night." he smiled, observing a well-rested Arnold enter the room as he held a saucepan over hot flames of the stove.  
  
"Yeah..." Arnold smiled back thoughtfully.  
  
"Nice to get back to the old routine eh?"  
  
"Definitely!"  
  
By 8:15, Arnold boarded the school bus, seeing Gerald and sitting down next to him. Everyone had greeted him and still seemed excited from the events that had taken place the day before. Conversations buzzed all around them.  
  
"...And did you see the look on his face when they arrested him?! Man that was priceless! Ahahahahaa!" Sid's voice rang clear as everyone exploded with laughter.  
  
"Yeah! He was so mad! I bet if he ever got out of jail, he'd be after Arnold and Gerald so fast!" Harold shouted hysterically. Another eruption of laughter filled the bus as the breaks screeched to a halt for more passengers.  
  
Arnold and Gerald looked at each other with worried expressions and fake smiles. They didn't see what was so funny about their friends' conversation!  
  
Because of all the noise, no one noticed the person who stepped onto the bus and stood for a moment, scanning the seats discreetly. She saw her place next to the small Asian girl on the second row and slipped into the empty seat. She'd seen someone else near the back of the bus and really hoped he hadn't seen her.  
  
"Good morning Helga." Phoebe greeted, her tiny voice, barely audible over the laughter. "My goodness Helga, are you alright? You look as though you haven't slept!" Helga groaned in response, sinking down slowly into her seat and putting a hand on her forehead.  
  
"Don't ask Pheebs." she grumbled. "Just don't ask."  
  
After the painfully long bus ride ended, Arnold and Gerald were desperate to get away from all the laughter. Sure it was nice to see everyone so happy about Scheck's demise, but the topic of revenge was becoming increasingly worrying to say the least!  
  
Helga felt relived to leave the loud bus too. Her head was pounding and she felt like she'd been hit by a truck! But she wasn't too keen with the prospect of school either. One word: Arnold. Although, right now that word seemed more like a sentence. She groaned again as she walked up to the school entrance with Phoebe, it's going to be a long day and she knew it!  
  
Everyone filed into the classroom and took their seats. Laughter could still be heard, accompanied by the occasional paper airplane that flew gently through the rowdy children and landed in hair and desks, and eventually, Mr Simmons' face as he entered the room.  
  
"Okay children, settle down. Settle down." No response. Had they even realised he'd entered the room? "Class! I know you're all still excited after the special events that took place yesterday, but I'm going to have to ask you to calm down now. Sid, Stinky, no more paper airplanes! Harold, don't stand on your seat! Ronda, go back to your desk! Curly, what the? Give me that! Please don't tepee the classroom with toilet paper, I've told you before!" He sighed despairingly. Finally the class calmed down.  
  
"Alright, before we begin I'd like to make a special announcement. We have two very brave and special individuals that I'd like you all to give a big round of applause to. Arnold, Gerald, would you like to come up to the front?" Arnold and Gerald looked at each other again and rolled their eyes. This was going to be a long day! They got up and walked to the front of the class, preparing themselves for one of Mr Simmons' 'special' speeches.  
  
"As you all know, thanks to the amazing efforts of these two special boys, our neighbourhood is still standing, and I think Arnold and Gerald deserve a big thank you from all us." He turned to the two embarrassed kids who were blushing profusely and smiling weakly, hating this 'special' treatment. "Well done. I'm so very proud of you two." Mr Simmons smiled and turned back to the class. "Three cheers for our very own special heroes! Hip-hip!" The class looked flatly at their overly enthusiastic teacher. Silence.  
  
"Hip-hip?" He tried again weakly. Nothing. "Erm, o-kay... how about we just give a round of applause then?" He began to clap, soon followed by the rest of the children. Phew! But the noise grew as Arnold and Gerald slipped quietly back to their desks. Once again, Mr Simmons had lost control over the classroom.  
  
Finally, after about 10 minutes of shouting and laughter, the class quietened down and Mr Simmons began a very 'special' lesson of Geography. Not that anyone was really paying much attention as they continued whispering conversations back and forth.  
  
Arnold sat attentively, watching the blackboard and trying not to be distracted by the activities of his classmates. Subconsciously he was preparing to feel the little wet thud of a spitball hit the back of his head, and when it didn't come, he felt as though something was missing. He ignored it, but the feeling kept eating away at him for some reason. He carefully turned his head to what he expected to be a scowling Helga behind him. But she wasn't scowling; she didn't even look as though she was aware of anyone else in the room. Her head was rested on her hand and her melancholy gaze was on the window. Arnold noticed deep purple bags under her tired, distant eyes and suddenly felt a pang of concern for her. Had she slept at all? He would confront her with this concern at lunch, he decided, before turning back to the blackboard. 


	5. Part 5

A/N: Thank you again for the kind, and occasionally strange reviews! Much appreciated :)  
  
  
  
  
  
Just as Helga had predicted, the day was going by at a snail's pace. She could almost swear that the clock that hung above the blackboard had stopped, even though the second hand still ticked. Tick. Tick. Tick. Hey, did it just tick backwards?! Oh for Pete's sake Helga ol' girl, you're seeing things now! I guess this is the wondrous effect of sleep deprivation! Well, only 10 minutes until lunch... Tick. Tick. Tick. She groaned in annoyance at the clock. Just ignore it she told herself as she turned away, although she realised immediately that she would have been better off staring at the clock than what her eyes fell upon. Arnold.  
  
'You actually hate me, don't you?' That sentence had been on repeat in her mind since the moment those words had fallen from his mouth. 'Of course I hate you, you stupid Football Head! And don't you ever forget it! Ever!'. Idiot! You complete moron! 'No, I love you!' see, simple! Just four simple words. And why didn't you even give them a thought when he asked you? Oh, that right, because you're just too darn proud to admit to the truth! Oh Arnold! My little Football Headed love God, my flaxen haired angel, keeper of my heart...  
  
She sighed quietly to herself as she stared dreamily at the back of Arnold's head. Her mind was suddenly on autopilot as thoughts of love consumed her. But then reality hit hard and her expression changed again. She felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness wash over her like an icy wave. That was the perfect metaphor for her thoughts; no sooner had a wave broken, another was there to take its place. A storm was raging and she couldn't stop it.  
  
But he doesn't love me. Did you seriously think he would? I mean, 6 years of torment and what? You were expecting him to just turn right around and say 'I love you too Helga'. Yeah right! Man I'm pathetic! I'm a fool! I deserve everything I get, and I certainly don't deserve Arnold. So now what? I just sit here staring blankly at that beautiful Football Head of his... the golden, gravity defying, unruly hair that parts so perfectly atop the soft sun-kissed skin of his neck, framed by the gentle touch of his burgundy checked shirt collar, so uniquely, and complimented by the sea green of his sweater that brings out the colour of his amazing emerald eyes that...  
  
"BRRRIIINNNG" Helga shot up in her seat startled by the bell for lunch. Stupid bell!  
  
She watched silently as the room cleared. What are they in such a hurry for anyway? Haven't they ever eaten before? She rolled her eyes. Pitiful!  
  
Mr Simmons could still be heard rummaging around with papers on his desk as Helga slowly made for the doorway.  
  
"Helga? Are you alright? You didn't seem to be acting like your extra special self today. Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" Oh great! Now Simmons is feeling sorry for me! Do I really look that pathetic?  
  
"No, I'm just peachy thanks." she growled as she left the room. She found Phoebe by the lockers and they walked to the cafeteria together.  
  
"Did your mother forget to pack your lunch again Helga?" Phoebe enquired in her tiny voice as they sat down at their usual table. She'd noticed that Helga wasn't carrying a lunchbox. Helga wasn't really paying attention though. She seems awfully distant, Phoebe thought.  
  
"Hmm? Oh er, yeah... but I'm not that hungry..."  
  
"...and my man Fuzzy Slippers knows this guy at the arcade who... Hey Arnold! Arnold? Yo bud, you in there?" Gerald was facing similar problems over at his table. He waved a hand in front of a dazed Arnold in hopes of waking him from deep thought.  
  
"Huh? Oh, sorry Gerald. Guess I must have zoned out for a minute there. What were you saying?" Arnold fixed his eyes back on his best friend, but it wasn't long before they wandered off again.  
  
"I was sayin'... Look, I'll tell ya about it later, like, when you're paying attention! Arnold, what's up man?" Gerald's tone changed from frustration to concern for his friend. What is the matter with him?  
  
"Er, nothing Gerald. There's just someone I've gotta talk to... Back in a minute okay?" Arnold rose from the table without waiting for an answer. His eyes were fixed on his destination as he began to walk across the cafeteria. Gerald's eyes followed him as he walked, and soon realised where he was headed, but he shrugged it off, turning back to his lunch.  
  
"Must need Phoebe's help with something." Gerald mused as he took a bite from his sandwich. Now he was the one with a dazed expression.  
  
Helga's was sat at the table with her back to Arnold, but Phoebe saw him approaching and decided to make an exit.  
  
"I just remembered something, er, important I have to do... I'll see you later Helga." Phoebe got up and left before Helga could protest.  
  
"What? Hey Phoebe where are you... Arnold!" She was cut short and startled by the sudden appearance of Arnold in the seat next to her.  
  
"Er, hi Helga" he greeted sheepishly.  
  
"What do you want Football Head?" she tried her hardest to sound like her normal, nasty self, but her voice seemed weaker than usual. Her mood was forced and they both knew it.  
  
"I was just wondering if you were okay? You look really tired and I guess I was worried about you..." he fidgeted in his seat and looked down at his hands uncomfortably. Helga smiled inwardly at this, swooning. Arnold, worried about me!  
  
"I'm fine Arnoldo" she growled sarcastically. Then she had an idea. "Why do you care anyway?"  
  
"I, I don't like to see people, er, upset... I just thought that maybe I could...erm...help you out? I mean, if you wanted to talk about anything..." he smiled awkwardly at her. She was enjoying this! She raised an eyebrow and folded her arms.  
  
"Uh huh, and what makes you think I'd tell you anything Football Head? I don't need you to feel sorry for me! You've done enough harm already!" Helga stopped suddenly and realised what she'd said, hoping that he hadn't heard or would just ignore it. She could feel her heart beat quicken.  
  
"What do you mean by that?" he looked at her curiously, visibly hurt by her words.  
  
Helga suddenly felt his eyes and question burning into her. Oh great! Now what am I supposed to say? You broke my heart?! Think Helga think!  
  
"I... nothing! I didn't mean anything... Crimeny! What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?! Just get lost Football Head!" Phew! Touch down Helga!  
  
Arnold sighed defeated. Why couldn't she just tell him what the matter was? Why was it so difficult for her? Everyone else would come to Arnold with their problems, or at least open up to him if he asked if he could help. But not Helga. She was always so closed, so hostile. He'd never understood her, but he wanted to. He looked deeply into her angry eyes as he thought. Where are you Helga? Why won't you let me in? I know you're there, and I promise I'll find you again. I promise.  
  
Helga was becoming uncomfortable under his gaze. "Hey Arnold! I said get lost! Are you deaf?!" Why was that question so familiar? Then he remembered, she'd asked him that on the rooftop, after she'd kissed him and left him dumbstruck. 'I'm confused, did you just say you loved me?' She'd sounded so desperate, hysterical even, when she replied, 'Are you deaf?!'... The first words she had spoken after their lips had parted. He could feel his cheeks burning again.  
  
"Sorry..." Arnold mumbled as he turned to leave. Yet another battle lost... 


	6. Part 6

Meanwhile, Phoebe had had an idea. She knew what was wrong with her best friend, and she hated to see her this upset. Something had to be done, she concluded.  
  
"Hello Gerald!" she sang as she approached his table.  
  
"Hey Pheebs! How you been?" he asked warmly, happy to see her. He gestured to the seat next to him and she smiled gratifyingly and sat down.  
  
"I'm fine Gerald, thank you for asking. How are you?"  
  
"I'm good. Better now!" he joked, winking at her and smiling. She blushed and giggled to herself. "So, what can I do for ya?" Phoebe composed herself. She still wasn't completely sure what she was going to say.  
  
"I was wondering if there would be any possibility of you and Arnold meeting me at the City Park at about 4:00 this evening? I have something, er, important I wish to discuss with both of you."  
  
"Sure thing babe! I'll tell Arnold when he comes back from... wherever he is. I'll be looking forward to it." he grinned and gave her another wink, making her cheeks redden again.  
  
"Thank you Gerald! Oh, and do you think you could refrain from telling anyone about this?" he raised an eyebrow curiously. What is she up to?  
  
"I guess... Well aren't you lil' Madam Mystery today!" he toyed. "I like it." Now it was Phoebe's turn to wink as she got up to leave.  
  
"See you later!"  
  
"Yeah, see ya!"  
  
Phoebe smiled to herself, so far so good. And now to talk to Helga.  
  
She watched as Arnold left their table before she went to sit back in her seat. Helga frowned angrily as she saw the petite girl return. "And where have you been? I know your game, leaving me alone with Football Head. Crimeny Phoebe! How could you?!" So much for fooling Helga G. Pataki!  
  
"I'm sorry about that Helga. But I really did have something I needed to do." she stated innocently.  
  
Helga raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" She was curious, but Phoebe knew she could get around the question if she brushed it over quickly.  
  
"Yeah..." Phoebe looked subtly over to Gerald, who smiled and gave her a thumbs-up, signalling that Arnold had agreed to Phoebe's plan. Perfect. "... Erm, Helga? I was wondering, are you doing anything after school today?"  
  
Helga's suspicious look faded into an expressionless one. She sighed sorrowfully. "I doubt it. Like there is EVER anything to do around here! Man my life sucks!" she stated, spreading her arms out on the table and dropped her head down on them dramatically. Phoebe continued.  
  
"Well, would you like to accompany me to the City Park? I'm sure we could find something interesting to do there." Phoebe gave an optimistic smile, hopeful of a positive answer. Helga lifted her head and looked blankly at her friend, pausing for effect.  
  
"Yeah, we could prance around picking flowers and climbing trees, listening to the birds sing and enjoying the wondrous company of Mother Nature!" sarcasm held fast in her falsely cheerful voice, eyes wide. Again she looked flatly at Phoebe and folded her arms. "Oh please!" she rolled her eyes as Phoebe's hopeful expression dampened. "Is that the best idea you can come up with?!"  
  
Phoebe didn't look impressed by her friend's little outburst. "Do you want to come or not? Yes or no." she said flatly.  
  
"Okay, okay! Sheesh! It's not like I have anything better to do anyway!"  
  
"Good." Phoebe grinned, visibly pleased with herself. Everything was going according to plan.  
  
"What are you so happy about? It's just the park for crying out load!" Helga asked, noticing Phoebe's happy expression.  
  
"I know." she smiled slyly, biting into her sandwich. Helga was about to speak again, but gave up. She felt to tired and down right miserable to argue. She just rolled her eyes again and rested her head back on her arms. Her eyes stung and she had a headache.  
  
A few minutes later, the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch period. All of the children reluctantly shuffled back to class for the last lesson of the day, all still caught up with lunchtime conversations.  
  
Mr Simmons' 4th grade class took their seats as Mr Simmons walked into the room. Helga was thankful that everyone quietened down much faster than they had at the beginning of the day. Her head was pounding.  
  
Arnold had decided to sit at the desk next to Phoebe; he had some questions he wanted to ask her.  
  
After Mr Simmons had explained the task that they were to complete on Elizabethan Poetry, everyone set to work, quiet conversations breaking out and creating a background sound in the room.  
  
Arnold leaned across to talk to Phoebe.  
  
"Hey Phoebe," he began, getting her attention. "Gerald told me that you want to talk to us after school. Is everything okay?"  
  
"Yes Arnold, don't worry." she smiled reassuringly, hoping that he wouldn't ask her what she wanted to talk to them about.  
  
"Oh good. So what do you want to talk to us about then? Is it something to do with school?" Phoebe's eyes brightened.  
  
"Erm, yes! School. Nothing very important really." She went back to her work, hoping that this gesture would signal the end of their conversation, but Arnold wanted to know something else.  
  
"Oh, okay. By the way Phoebe, do you know what's wrong with Helga? I tried asking her at lunch, but she didn't want to talk to me. I guess I'm worried about her." he frowned with concern and confusion.  
  
"I'm worried about her too Arnold. But it's not my place to divulge information on her condition I'm afraid." she said firmly. Arnold looked disappointed. He sighed.  
  
"Oh okay, I understand I guess. I just wish she would talk to me. I really do want to help her." his forehead knotted with worry for her.  
  
"All I can say is, don't give up on her. She needs you more than you know Arnold." he seemed quite surprised by this new information.  
  
"She does? She sure has a funny way of showing it!"  
  
"That's just her way I suppose." Phoebe sighed. "You'll just have to trust me on this okay?"  
  
"Okay Phoebe, if you say so. Thanks." he smiled and went back to his work. Phoebe did the same, silently trying to convince herself that what she was doing was for the best. She still had her doubts, and she knew that Helga would probably never talk to her again if she found out what her best friend was up to. But this was a chance she was willing to take. I've got to help her somehow! 


	7. Part 7

As the bell sounded for the end of the school day, the children of PS118 poured out of the double doors, words flying around loudly as some boarded the bus and others began the walk home.  
  
"Hey Pheebs! I'm coming over to yours okay?" Helga stated as she caught up with her best friend.  
  
"Of course Helga!" Phoebe smiled politely. She had successfully predicted this and saw another piece of her plan fall into place. Now there was no way Helga could avoid going to the park with her.  
  
They boarded the bus and sat down.  
  
"Are you sure you're alright Helga? Your eyes look awfully red." Phoebe observed as Helga rested her head on the headrest of the seat. She really didn't look well. "You didn't sleep last night, did you." it wasn't a question.  
  
"No..." Helga mumbled, seeing the concern on her friend's face. But she didn't want to tell her why. "I, I just wasn't tired, that's all." she fiddled with her thumbs, suddenly becoming nervous. Phoebe ignored her excuse.  
  
"You don't have to pretend Helga. Remember this is me you're talking to." her voice was calm but firm. "How do you feel now?"  
  
"If I tell you, will you stop asking me all these dumb questions?!" Helga asked in frustration, but her tone was softer than usual. She knew Phoebe was worried for her.  
  
"Of course!" Phoebe grinned.  
  
Helga's brow knotted and she looked down at her hands; she felt uncomfortable. "Well I, I don't know what I feel! I guess I've been trying to figure it out, but I, I can't. It's like, I'm looking for someone to blame, but I know I'm the only one at fault, and it's completely my problem. I created it... I just feel so... empty. I spilled my guts, and he didn't believe it... even if he did, he didn't want to believe it. He gave me a way out, but that wasn't what I wanted, because now everything is normal again... except it isn't! He knows, and he doesn't care! So, I'm... empty. Just empty." Phoebe could see that Helga was fighting back tears. She is, after all, very good at fighting.  
  
Phoebe extended a comforting arm, resting her hand on Helga's shoulder for reassurance. They had been the best of friends for so long, that sometimes they didn't really need words. Helga looked up and smiled weakly in thanks. Phoebe gave a small nod of understanding.  
  
"He does care about you, you know." Phoebe said softly.  
  
"Oh? Well, he sure has a funny way of showing it!" she sighed. Phoebe chuckled lightly to herself at those words. Helga arched an eyebrow. "What?"  
  
"It's just, he said exactly the same thing about you."  
  
When the bus finally reached Phoebe's stop, both girls got off and made there way to Phoebe's house to drop off their school bags.  
  
"You really do have your heart set on the park, huh Pheebs?" Helga chucked as Phoebe pulled her out of the front door and onto the street.  
  
"Hmm..." Phoebe wasn't really paying attention as her eyes searched the streets anxiously. The coast was clear. By her calculations, they should reach the park just before 4:00. Perfect.  
  
"Well, I'm just gonna relax when we get there y'know. Man I'm tired!" Helga yawned as Phoebe pulled her down the street. But she was beginning to notice Phoebe's strange behaviour. "Er, Phoebe?"  
  
"Yes Helga?"  
  
"I can walk by myself thanks! Sheesh! Where's the fire?!" she yanked her hand away and slowed down, forcing Phoebe to slow down with her.  
  
"Oh, er, sorry Helga" she smiled sheepishly. Thankfully, the park wasn't much further, and they were still making good time.  
  
By the time they arrived, it was almost 4:00. They walked along the path; Phoebe scanned the area while Helga enjoyed the cooling breeze on her face, completely unaware of her friend's anxiety. She plopped down on the nearest bench and sighed deeply. "I'm gonna rest here for a while, okay Pheebs?" she yawned again and stretched out on the bench, hands behind her head, she closed her eyes.  
  
Then Phoebe spotted them approaching. Had they seen her?  
  
"...And she didn't say anything else?" Gerald asked as he and Arnold walked down the street, parallel with the park railings.  
  
"Nope, just that it had something to do with schoolwork." Arnold shrugged. It did seem a bit strange for Phoebe to ask them to meet her at the park, and for schoolwork purposes too! It's not like Phoebe would need their help with schoolwork! Very strange. "Maybe she just wants an excuse to see you" Arnold winked and nudged his blushing best friend who quickly protested.  
  
"What?! What are you talking about? Why would she wanna see me? Huh huh... hmm... Anyway, she said schoolwork! Oh look, there she is now!" he stumbled over his words as Arnold watched knowingly, eyes half-lidded, smirking.  
  
They entered the park and headed over to Phoebe who was waiting patiently for them under a large tree, its leaves whispering in the cool breeze. She was getting nervous.  
  
"Yo Pheebs!" Gerald greeted, shooting her a smile. Arnold still had that knowing expression on his face as he watched their interaction.  
  
"Hello Gerald, Arnold," she nodded.  
  
"Hey Phoebe!" Arnold returned the greeting. "So, what's up?" he asked casually. Phoebe face suddenly changed to a quite serious expression and she looked directly at Arnold. Neither of the two boys had noticed the sprawled out Helga on the bench a few meters away from them.  
  
"Erm..." Phoebe walked up to Arnold and then turned to face Gerald. "Gerald, may I have a minute to speak with Arnold, alone?" Both Gerald and Arnold turned to each other, looks of confusion were exchanged, and then they shrugged it off."  
  
"Sure." Gerald replied softly. Phoebe nodded in gratitude and motioned for Arnold to follow her to another bench in the park. They sat; Arnold still held the look of confusion.  
  
"Phoebe?" he questioned. "What's going on?"  
  
"It's about Helga," she began, slightly unsure of her words. Arnold raised an eyebrow. That name sparked off so many different feelings, and that in itself worried him. But why would she want to talk to him about Helga? She doesn't know about the, er, incident, does she? Now Arnold was beginning to feel nervous, but intrigued all the same.  
  
"Okay..." 


	8. Part 8

Phoebe knew there was no backing out now. Arnold would want to know why she wanted to talk to him about Helga, and Arnold wasn't likely to forget about something like this in a hurry. She had no choice but to proceed.  
  
The serious expression on her soft face returned, as she looked straight into Arnold's confused eyes. "She needs you Arnold. You're the only one who can help her." Arnold frowned, he still didn't understand why.  
  
"What do you mean? She won't even talk to me!" Phoebe shook her head in despair.  
  
"Please Arnold, you have to try! She isn't well, and I'm worried about her..." Arnold opened his mouth in protest, but Phoebe interrupted. "Please! She will talk to you, but you have to promise me that you'll listen, this time." Arnold wanted a way out of this. Did he know what she was trying to tell him? Something at the back of his mind was making him uncomfortable under her concerned gaze; maybe because, he knew she was right. He wanted to brush this off, but he couldn't do that. It wouldn't be the right thing to do. Phoebe was right, he has to act now, he has to do something to help Helga, to let her know that he is there for her. He just doesn't want to face reality. What was it Helga had said once? '...Always goin' around with your head in the clouds!' That was the reality really. Well, occasionally, change is good.  
  
"Okay Phoebe, if you're sure it will help. She's gonna hate me for this y'know!" Phoebe smiled brightly and stood up, grabbing Arnold's hand, pulling him up with her. She practically dragged him over to the other side of the park; Arnold was quite surprised by this. "Phoebe?" All those years of being best friends with Helga Pataki must have had an effect on her, he concluded.  
  
"Remember Arnold," Phoebe had stopped and turned to him. Her hard but anxious eyes burnt into him. "Don't give up on her, and don't shut her out either okay?" Arnold still looked confused. He was unaware of the girl in the pink dress that lay wearily on the bench behind a bush they were standing next to. That is, until Phoebe pushed him out from around the foliage and towards that very bench. Okay, now or never I suppose...  
  
Helga had her eyes shut, and when she heard the rustle of leaves, she thought it was Phoebe. "Just five more minutes Pheebs." she said softly. But the voice that replied was not that of her best friend.  
  
"Erm, hi Helga" her heart skipped a beat.  
  
"Arnold?!" she yelped, shooting bolt upright on the bench, the sudden movement causing her head to spin. She held her stomach and head, looking quite pale. It took her a moment to compose herself. "Ooh" she groaned.  
  
"Are you okay? You look really pale Helga. Maybe you should see a doctor..." Arnold sat down next to her, forehead knotted with concern.  
  
"What?! Doctor?! Crimeny! Who asked you Football Head?! And where the heck did you suddenly appear from?! Can't you go and bug somebody else for a change? Sheesh!" but she seemed uneasy rather than mad. There was still that awkwardness between them, and neither liked this uneasy feeling.  
  
Helga stood up, still holding her pounding head as she began to stomp off. She didn't want to have this conversation.  
  
"Helga wait! I, I need to talk to you..." He rose from the bench and began to follow her retreating figure. Instantly she spun around to face him, forcing a scowl.  
  
"Well sorry to burst your bubble Hair Boy, but I'm here with Phoebe and I don't have time for another one of your lame Football Headed speeches, so get lost bucko!" she growled, cursing Phoebe in her mind for deserting her like this.  
  
"Err, Helga," he gestured towards the park gates where Phoebe and Gerald could be seen leaving, together. "I don't think you need to worry about Phoebe. Please, just hear me out." he pleaded. Helga was trapped and panicking, but she kept her cool, folding her arms and raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Fine then!" she snarled. "Spill."  
  
"It's just, lately, you... what I mean is, I'm, well..." he avoided her eyes. What was he supposed to say to her anyway?  
  
"Oh spit it out Football Head! I ain't got all day!" she pushed past him and plopped back down on the bench dramatically to emphasize her frustration. She could feel the tension, and she didn't like it. Neither did he. Arnold followed her example and sat down next to her.  
  
"I'm worried about you!" he blurted out. "You're acting so weird, and it's not like you..." He saw the briefly sincere shock on her face, but it was quickly replaced with her classic frown. She looked deadly with those darkly ringed eyes.  
  
"That's what you wanted to tell me?" she said flatly, before bursting into a bitter laugh; such a sound that only Helga could make. He hated that laugh, so cold and empty. So fake. He frowned in disapproval. "Oh your too funny!" She composed herself and wiped away a tear. "But seriously, what was it you wanted to say?"  
  
"Helga!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I mean it Helga! I'm worried about you! So is Phoebe, she said you needed me, and I'm not gonna give up until I find out what's wrong!" Ooh! Phoebe's a dead girl!  
  
Helga gritted her teeth. She wanted out, right now! No more games. Her head was painful, her heart was heavy, and those green eyes were like lazars burning into her. She clenched her fists under the pressure.  
  
"Nothing's 'wrong' Hair Boy, and I don't have to talk to YOU if I don't want to!" Arnold was taken aback, but Phoebe's words pushed him on.  
  
"Why not Helga? I want to help you!" He could see something in her break, like a crack in a dam. Her eyes appeared positively wild and her clenched fists began to tremble.  
  
"No you don't! Stop it! Just stop it! You're always helping people, anyone! Well, this just in bucko, I don't want your help okay?!" She stood up and began to trudge away, but Arnold wasn't going to ignore her this time. He followed her, determined.  
  
"Helga wait!" 


	9. Part 9

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated for a while, I've been busy with college work. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, and I hope it doesn't seem to OOC. I'm sorry if it does. Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing my fic; I am so grateful for all your kind words! :)  
  
  
  
  
  
Arnold quickly caught up to the ominous Helga. She was headed for the park gates.  
  
"Helga!" he pleaded, still not completely sure what he was doing. He really didn't like the idea of a round with Old Betsy, but his curious and compassionate nature wouldn't let him give up this time. Matching Helga's quickening stride, he braced himself for the worst.  
  
"Just stay away from me!" she screamed, desperation rang clear in her voice. Arnold was shocked. Where had he heard that tone before? "It's all your fault anyway! You've caused enough damage!" There was genuine pain in her eyes.  
  
"What? I don't understand. What did I-" Helga cut him off, ignoring his confusion. Her control was gone.  
  
"You just HAD to care didn't you?! You just had to be so, so nice! You couldn't just leave me alone back then either, could you? No. You had to notice me!" she flung her arms around in despair, emphasizing her words. Arnold was completely lost now, and was beginning to worry about Helga's state of mind.  
  
"What are you talking about Helga?" Not a good move. She stopped dead, narrowing her intense blue eyes like a wild animal, fists now clamped firmly to her sides.  
  
"Don't you DARE pretend you don't know!" she hissed through her teeth. "Do you have any idea of the pain you've caused me?" She was scaring him now; he'd never witnessed such fury from her. "Six years! Six long years, and you're still as dense as you ever were! Why don't you get it?" she saw his fear and turned away from him, trying desperately to control herself. Deep breaths Helga, deep breaths.  
  
"Helga," Arnold spoke softly. "What are you saying?"  
  
There was a pause before Helga spoke. She managed sarcasm this time, but she knew she wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. Arnold knew it too.  
  
She ignored his question. "And now you want to help me? That's hilarious Football Head! Hilarious!" she smirked coldly. "You, wanting to help solve MY problems!" she laughed callously, turning her back on the stunned boy and walking away. "Well good luck with that one bucko!"  
  
"Helga wait! Why won't you let me help you?" He caught up to her again. She sighed, weary now. Why is he being so persistent?  
  
"Because you can't help me! You have no idea! You can only make things worse."  
  
"Well, why?"  
  
"Why?!" she mocked, temper rising again. "Because you ARE the problem stupid! Now get lost!" her fists were clenched again. She could feel her control slipping away once more. "I don't need you! I don't need ANYBODY! I'm Helga G. Pataki, and Helga G. Pataki can take care of herself!" she affirmed, more to herself than Arnold.  
  
"But I don't get it, how can I be the problem? I want to help you!"  
  
"THAT'S WHY YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!" she yelled. "And I don't need your pity! You just stay the heck away from me!" her voice was cracking under the strain. She couldn't take much more of this pressure. She could feel tears threatening.  
  
"Helga, please!" Arnold pleaded. She turned away from him, not wanting to show her grief.  
  
"Just stay away from me! Stay away..." The dam had burst. Silent tears began to fall as she sank to the ground in defeat. Sitting on the grass, she wrapped her arms around her drawn up legs and buried her face in her knees, rocking softly to comfort herself. Arnold didn't know what to do. He was panicking; he'd never seen her act like this before, and the guilt he felt was immense.  
  
He sat down beside her small form and rested a hand on her arm for reassurance, but she flinched as he did so.  
  
"Helga," he coaxed gently, squeezing her arm. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for whatever I've done to you. And I'm sorry for being too dense to figure it out."  
  
She slowly looked up at him, her eyes red and puffy from tears. But she couldn't hold his gaze. Looking at the ground in front of her, she spoke quietly.  
  
"No Arnold, I should be the one apologising," she said sincerely. "It's not your fault. I'm such a fool." She wiped the tears from her stinging eyes. "Please Arnold, just leave me alone okay? Go, before I say something I'll regret."  
  
"I'm not leaving Helga, you know that." Arnold smiled. "I care about you. Please, let me help you. I want to understand you, because I never have. Please don't shut me out again." She looked at his compassionate expression, remembering how much she loved that face. But her expression turned sorrowful.  
  
"But you don't want to know. You didn't believe me when I told you, so how would it change anything if I said it again?" Helga fiddled with her hands. "So maybe I did get carried away back then, I should have kept my big mouth shut! But now I know what you think, and it brakes my heart."  
  
"Helga, what do you mean? What are you talking about?" She felt weak under his gaze. And now she was lost for words.  
  
"I, I..." Helga searched his face, desperate for an answer, but something uncontrollable took over. Without thinking, she lunged at him, planting her lips harshly upon his, pulling away just as quickly. Arnold's eyes bulged at the realisation of what had just happened. He was frozen with shock. "That's what I'm talking about you idiot! I'm in love with you! Do I have to spell it out?!" Arnold's eyes darted back and forth in confusion and then realisation.  
  
"Helga, I-I" he stuttered. But the hurt on Helga's face returned.  
  
"Just forget about it okay?! Just forget about the whole thing!" she got up and ran out of the park before Arnold could say anything. He was left shocked.  
  
"Helga..." 


	10. Part 10

A/N: I thought I'd better clear a few things up for some people about the actions of some characters (i.e. Arnold and Helga). Firstly, I realise that Arnold can't possibly be dense enough to believe Helga's "Of course I hate you!" lie at the end of the movie, but, my theory is that he's in denial. He is finding it difficult to except that the girl who has bullied him his whole life could possibly have those kinds of feelings for him... He knows she's a good person deep down, and I'm convinced he has some kind of subconscious love for her because of the glimpses of her real self that he's seen. But when suspicions are confirmed, he has a problem excepting it; hence the "You actually hate me, don't you" part. So even though he probably knows what she's talking about in the park (see Part 9), he still doesn't want to believe it. Also, he's only 9, so love shouldn't be something he has to deal with yet (see Part 3). (The idea of Fate plays a big part in this fic.)  
  
As for Helga, she hasn't slept in two days because of saving the neighbourhood, and then the pain of having Arnold not wanting to believe that she loves him. Both the sleep deprivation and grief are having an effect on her, so she is weaker (mentally as well as physically) than she usually is, which is why she seems to break down a lot easier.  
  
I hope that has clarified a few points for anyone who was unclear about the actions of Arnold and Helga in this fic.  
  
The lyrics used are from 'One Year Ago' by Lene Marlin  
  
Massive thanks to everyone who is reviewing/e-mailing! I just want to hug each and every one of you! lol!  
  
  
  
  
  
Helga's mind was a blur of emotions as she ran from the park. She didn't want to think about what had just happened, and her mind wouldn't let her. She just ran. Through the haze of streets and buildings, nothing registered. Running. Running. Please, let me wake up now! Please!  
  
Arnold was still in shock, not moving once, eyes wide in disbelief. The wind was picking up, whipping around his ridged frame harshly. If he was shivering, he hadn't noticed. His mind was racing as he tried desperately to make sense of the situation. Had he dreamt it? No. Had she meant it? Was she just caught up in the heat of the moment, again?  
  
What are you running from?  
  
Why?  
  
Queen 5 to King 4. Check. Your move. Will you finish the game?  
  
You have to finish the game... 'She needs you more than you know...'  
  
Arnold shook his head to clear his mind. He had to find Helga. It is the right thing to do.  
  
Fresh determination showed on his face as he rose from the ground, headed in the direction Helga had taken only moments ago. The streets were empty, or were they? He wasn't really paying attention. Finding Helga had become his sole focus. But where could she be?  
  
He let his feet carry him, unsure of the direction. He couldn't understand why he felt so deeply for her, and how he knew where she was. He just knew. And he knew he had to find her. What he would say when he did, was another matter all together, but he didn't want to think about that now. Everything was happening so fast, but for some reason, it felt right.  
  
No script.  
  
Find her, just find her, then everything will be alright. 'She needs you...'  
  
The wind thrashed urgently, pushing him, running with him. Past streets and houses he raced, familiar buildings only a distant blur. Where am I going? And then the answer hit him, as if carried on the air... The docks. She's at the docks.  
  
  
  
She's walking there alone  
  
No one by her side  
  
She managed to fight the tears but  
  
The pain inside  
  
She can't hide  
  
And all the tears she's cried  
  
  
  
The moment she closes her eyes she starts  
  
Thinking of you  
  
The dreams that she had one time  
  
Have gone away  
  
Will they ever come true?  
  
All she needs is  
  
All she needs is you  
  
  
  
All she needs is you  
  
  
  
There she is. A lone girl in a pink dress, looking out onto the lake. Wonder what she's thinking? Wonder where she goes when there's no one else around. You found her. What now?  
  
She looks so sad. I've never seen her so sad. So broken; so distant; so detached.  
  
Haven't we already done this part? Same set, no script. Guess not then. Make the move...  
  
Arnold began to approach the solitary figure cautiously, almost as though he was afraid to disturb her... or maybe, he just didn't want her to know he was there. But she knew.  
  
His black shoes stepped softly onto the wooden planks of the dock, the weathered wood whispering protest. The wind was calming now, gently animating blond hair and tranquil water.  
  
He reached Helga and silently sat down next to her, recovering from the run. He didn't know what to say, so he stayed quiet, as did she. This felt weird. Not bad, just weird.  
  
Five minutes passed before he spoke.  
  
"Nice view."  
  
"Yeah... I like it."  
  
Silence.  
  
The breeze enjoyed their silence. It danced around the two children, playing with their hair and cloths, caressing their faces, daring their eyes to meet. And its will was strong, but somehow comforting.  
  
It got its way.  
  
Their eyes met and the world held its breath. They both felt the spark, the familiar electricity. Eyes are so beautiful, and far too easy to get lost in. An eternity passed in their gaze. But, reluctant, they broke the connection.  
  
"Why did you follow me?" she asked softly, narrowing her eyes. Arnold thought for a moment. He didn't know the answer, or at least, how to word it anyway. He surprised himself with his response.  
  
"Why do you love me?" he regretted the words the moment they fell from his lips. But he had no reason to.  
  
"You're everything I'm not." she smiled weakly. He returned the smile gently. The awkwardness was eased slightly.  
  
The water lapped the shore rhythmically, nudging against old wood and wet earth. It was so peaceful now.  
  
"But, then why are you always so mean to me? I don't understand it." his expression looked almost hurt, and this made Helga feel guilty.  
  
"I, I was afraid that, that everyone would make fun of me... I mean, I'm Helga G. Pataki, the bully. I boss people around, scowl, shake my fist and call people names. I'm mean and nasty; that's just who I am."  
  
"Is it?" he questioned. "You don't have to be those things you know."  
  
"Yes I do!" she retaliated, desperation in her voice. "People respect me for it. I have a reputation!"  
  
"Is a reputation really worth risking your happiness for?" he asked honestly.  
  
"Oh, just leave me alone!" she snapped, emotions getting the better of her. "You don't know anything about me! I'm like this because I have to be! I don't have any other choice!" he could hear the pain of her voice again. He took a moment to reflect on her answer.  
  
"Why Helga?" his voice was calm, a contrast to hers.  
  
"Because, because I, I, well... I don't know why! Stop it! Just stop it okay?" He'd struck that nerve again.  
  
They stayed silent for a few more minutes. The sun was sinking deeper in the clear sky, getting caught on the rippling lake, glittering.  
  
"I'm sorry Arnold," Helga said quietly, sincere.  
  
"I know." he replied simply. "I just wish I could get to know the real you someday."  
  
She thought for a moment, and then smiled. "Well, maybe someday you will." Arnold smiled warmly in return. She's a real mystery, and I promise I'll figure her out one day. My little mystery.  
  
They sat there for hours, watching the sunset, just enjoying its beauty, and each other's company. Silent, or casual conversation, it didn't really matter. But the evening couldn't last forever.  
  
"So, what happens now?" Helga asked.  
  
"I guess that's up to you."  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
"I mean, when are you gonna give up this charade? Like you said, I don't know you. Not the real you anyway. So, until I do get to know you, nothing can really change, can it?" Helga sighed heavily, but she understood.  
  
"I guess." Arnold saw her disappointment.  
  
"And anyway, we're only nine. There's plenty of time for all that stuff yet, right?" he coaxed, smiling hopefully.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"C'mon," he stood up "I'll walk ya home." He held out his hand to her and she took it. That spark again. Standing, they began to walk silently in the direction of Helga's house.  
  
When they reached her stoop, their eyes met once again.  
  
"I guess I'll see ya around then." she said.  
  
"Yeah, see ya." They held the gaze for a few seconds before Arnold broke it and began to walk away.  
  
"Arnold!" Helga called suddenly, catching herself off guard. Arnold turned around to look at her, wind whispering. "I'm gonna marry you one day you know."  
  
He was shocked for a moment, but then smiled warmly. "I know." And with that, he continued walking down the street.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"You wanna play again?" said the man with the weirdly shaped head to his wife.  
  
"Another game of chess? In the same evening? I knew we should have gone out tonight!" she laughed, teasing.  
  
"Oh, I dunno," he said, scooting closer to her, placing his arms around her. "I like it here." He kissed her gently and then pulled away to stare into her sapphire eyes. She gazed back, smiling.  
  
"Yeah, you're right." She kissed him back, arms around his neck. "But I can think of plenty of other things to do besides board games, Football Head." she giggled playfully.  
  
"Oh?" he chuckled, enjoying their closeness; faces only inches apart. Moments past as they lost themselves in each others eyes.  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: I hope you enjoyed that :) It's the first fic I've ever actually completed! *dances* Oh, and sorry this chapter took so long... I wanted to make it perfect, and as realistic as possible... (I hope I haven't disappointed anyone!)  
  
Thank you for reading and reviewing. :)  
  
~savagemind~ 


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